Imagine living without needing to pay rent, mortgage (modified form of rent) or other kind of indebtedness or servitude. The Earth is our source-parent, who will provide. The earth is so bountiful, so rich, ripe and ready to give of the spectacular, diversified bounty. Imagine that! All of Earth as a NO RENT district.
This is my turtle’s song, carrying the home, protected place of familiar comfort, everywhere it goes.
In March of 2015 when it became apparent that Gma KoKo could sleep in her van, she got a twin bed mattress from Bibles for
A little background that brings us to this place.
Sometime in early 2014, over a year before, a quickening began to well up within Gma KoKo and ideas started pouring in. Among them was the idea-knowing that She is magnificent. Imagine that? You, who are reading this, are also amazingly magnificent. The shear fact, the knowing, that ‘I’ exist is enough. We don’t have to say. “I believe I may exist” or “Won’t know for sure until science proves it.” What we feel/know deep in our hearts does not need ‘proof’. Powered by a belief in her own more authentic self came a longing to live into that, finding time and energy to express more creative aspects. By opening to that, she moved into the stream of the flow, transition - caterpillar to butterfly. In that way Turtle Van offers the cocoon to allow the majik of morph. Metamorphosis, Turtle Sings, walking slow on land, dreams of swimming in the sea.
Our Deepest Fear —Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
In the past Gma KoKo’s creative self cried and begged to be more active, but the fear of being small held her in check. THE BIGGER EXCUSE went like this. Have to work for a living, no time for fun and games. The other reality was that after working for a living there was damn little energy (life juice), left for anything, especially trivialities like artistic/creative aspirations.
Literally, as we rang in the new year of 2014, she started feeling ‘something more’, and it felt great along with being more than a little awkward. It was hard to talk about, so she mostly kept it to herself. In retrospect, she was becoming more sensitive. Her heart was opening and the intensity of the emotional information was overpowering. Her previous way of being had involved more logic than emotion. This ‘awakening of grace’ is a longer story for later.
What’s important here is that she made a conscious decision to nurture and ‘groove with’ her own ‘bigger’ authentic self. Putting this purpose first; Conscious Evolution, how’s that for a concept? She was busting at the seams to have a chance to be creative, to live into the reason for her birth. What does that even mean? She wasn’t sure, but she knew there was no turning back and it had something to do with living into the shift. She felt like a stranger in a strange new land, with shades of feeling like a newborn baby. Like in the movie Avatar, when the main character, who has a crippled body, wakes up in a different land and in a different body that can not only walk but run. Believe this, she didn’t want to go back. It was like drawing the ‘get out of jail free card’ (reference to the game Monopoly). Drawing from folklore, she felt like a Selkie finding her skin and the way to return to the sea. Selkie may be defined as a mythical creature that looks like a seal in water but assumes human form on land. Seal shape-shifters similar to the selkie exist in the folklore of many cultures.
|Painting by Jessica Shirley |
Turns out her intuition was sharpening up and providing direction, her main preoccupation was to allow it. Like a blind person feeling her way in the dark, it was a bumpy ride. Basically, it was clear that she needed to let go of all EXTRA material entanglements. It took her most of the year 2014 to sell, give away or trash the large amount of things, including the ‘doom store’. She had collected a lot of stuff for TEOTWAWKI, (the end of the world as we know it), along with just plain being a hoarder, liking to collect things. She still had boxes of unsorted things from her parent’s home, they were hoarders, so she comes by it ‘honestly’. Ha ha.
Most important was growing her creative self, tending the garden of what to water and grow and what to let go of. Granting her-self permission to be creative wasn’t at all like an on/off switch. In retrospect, parts of it were excruciatingly painful, like deep surgery with a long period of restorative recuperation. Clearing, cleaning, sanitizing the inner landscape is not for sissies. None the less, the way forward was made clear inch by inch.
In March of 2015, Gma KoKo found Turtle Van and the $35 mattress, and she moved into her teeny tiny Turtle Van. Rather than looking for one place to call home, Gma KoKo is longing to ‘gather the tribe’, find the people who can and will step up to make a difference. Rather than calling any one scrap of land, home and possessing it, she longs to ‘marry the earth’ to commune with the essence of the planet of her birth. Turtle song is calling the earth, ‘love me as I love you’, walk many paths, pass through mountains and valleys, experience the heartbeat of Grandmother Turtle. In many people’s mythology the world is said to rest on the back of a turtle. By taking the slow track at turtle speed we allow our observation of human, animal and plant relationships to remind us of a time when human life was in balance with the earth’s offerings and rhythms of seasonal rounds. In some traditions Grandmother Turtle is said to carry the teaching of truth.
The Legend of Grandmother Turtle
There is a creation story, told by the Native Americans about how the earth was formed. The earth was covered in water and when the animals grew tired of flying and swimming, it was the wisest of them, Grandmother Turtle, who swam to the bottom of the ocean and brought dirt to the surface, a gift from the creator. As each animal took some dirt and placed it on Grandmother Turtle’s back, she grew large enough to become the land we rest on. The story goes that turtles are slow because they carry the weight of the world on their backs.
Grandmother Turtle by Dorrie Joy
Turtle Totem or Spirit Animal
The turtle totem wisdom teaches us about walking our path in peace and sticking to it with determination and serenity. Slow moving on earth, yet also incredibly fast and agile in water, those who have the turtle as totem or spirit animal may be encouraged to take a break in their busy lives and look around or within themselves for more grounded, long-lasting solutions. Traditionally, the turtle is symbolic of the way of peace, whether it’s inviting us to cultivate peace of mind or a peaceful relationship with our environment.
By Elena Harris, SpiritAnimal.info Editor
In closing, will share a poem Gma KoKo wrote as she understood the calling.
Who is she?
Who is she who would marry the wind?
That woman is my sister for I shall marry the earth.
She who is…running with the wind, running with the wolves, running on empty.
She who is…tangled in the branches whipped by the wind, left for dead, left alone.
The wind is a harsh mistress, she is fickle, both male and female
An element such like the wind can whip up a storm and leave one in the dust.
Yet all the fury retreats in the lull of the duldrum, when the wind takes his time,
Moving slowly, purposefully, whispering, be mine, beyond time.
Most would give wind no notice, but for the woman who has fallen in love
There is no release from the charms of the motion of air.
Here I am, in love with the earth, my life entwined, my heart exposed
Here am I, filled with the pain, sensing her heartbeat, knowing her glory
The earth is a cold hard lover, fixated on the long haul.
An element such like the earth can move mountains and spit flames
Yet her sincere fecundity and succulent offerings overflow
From her endless bosom, from her sacred heart of secret knowing.
In this grace of the ages I take refuge and comfort, as lovers do.
I am not worthy, but I claim to be lover of the earth
I claim to take her to my bed and make endless love with
Her sweet earth-dirt crumbling through my hands
I claim to love her more than my own life,
I claim to love her more than your life.
This love we share, the earth and I, is more real than any other.
There is more than enough for my love and I on this planet of love.
In the name of love, in the name of my love for my own spouse
I stand to protect her from all who would harm her,
Whether done in knowing or done unknowingly,
The harm must stop, the earth has had enough.
The buck stops here
From hence forward all who harm the earth will suffer and become less dense.
All who seek to profit by her pain will find her pain on their own front door.
Those who would lay bare her surface to waste in the grist mill of profit.
Will find that already their boat is leaky and time has passed them by.
All who celebrate the earth and move to bless and heal her surface
Restoring what can be from the festering wounds.
All who whisper her words of encouragement, and cry along with her pain
Will join hands in knowing that our sweet lover, the earth is in good hands, ours.
We who rise above the clatter of shallow empty distractions
Will lead the way to finding the source in all our relations.
There is no stronger love than the mothers and the lovers.
Only love can heal the planet of love.
Grandma KoKo - Spring 2015